Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours........
I was stern; it was one of those feelings when one is immovable and way too tough to be hurt or loved. It’s funny but true. I was so sure that to me love would never hold a meaning. It would just be one of those topics I could advice my friends on for hours, those who have apparently fallen for it and I somewhow wanted them to believe in it. (Well y shud my reasons for not loving affect their decision of looking forward towards a new life ) I had become, u can't say immune but numb towards that feeling. In every girls life there will always be those three guys...the one she loves, the one she hates, and the one she can’t get enough of...and in the end...they're all the same guy. Many came and went, tried their best to get me out of this somewhat comfort zone of just living life for the heck of it. My friends lectured me for hours and days. Yes, I too tried to love and carry on but never found anyone worth living for, worth sacrificing all the pain and hurt I had been through for so long. It always turned out that the other person was there for his selfish reasons or was nowhere close to being compatible. A time had come when I took it as my utmost resort to live life that way, party, get high, act funny, and sleep it off! Next day wake up, sleep in lectures and watch him crib for me to come back. Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew. Ofcourse I was tough but not heartless, and unlike any other girl, I used to melt and give way to his pleadings again and again. It was like I had no choice but to forget and accept all his flaws probably because I had never been loved by anyone more.
Then came up this hasty yet thoughtful move of going to Bombay for a job offer! Now who would want to go that far, leaving behind all her frenz, family, places and above all her very being just to experiment with this new life. But ya there are crazy people out there, crazy in your lingo but in mine I would call them people wanting to live their lives their way! And there we were, my bestie, me and ofcourse a so called frend who apparently got us the job. A long week of farewell parties follwed and finally we left for the new city. Though we had been there a couple of times but on a vacation not any longer, strange it all was coz this time I was not happy being there. A city that seems to be full of excitement and energy had suddenly started to drain away all what I had.
It was one of those usual nights when I was sitting at the window baffling with my thoughts and this guy happened to come up and sit beside me. A bit hesitant at first, both of us started with the small talk about our families, then gradually friends and even better past relationships! A night wasn't enough for both of us to complete the talk and to confide in the other with things both of us wanted to share. So it stretched for 3 consecutive nights and till then we were both somewhat acquainted to almost all important aspects of each others past and aspirations of future. And strange as it may sound but these 3 sessions of ours brought us so close that on the 4th night, while we were out drinking and having fun, the 2 of us seemed to be engrossed between ourselves as if we had known each other past ages! And then came the expected yet 'a li'l late' call declaring that he did like me. (Awww I mean, ofcourse I knew it the very first day but was wondering what took him so long).
September would be our 5th month together and I don't want to generalise it by saying it 'seems like we have spent 5 years together!' Coz that's certainly not how "we" feel! Either of us don't think that far, we live for the present and at the max for the next couple of days. We love spending the day together with ofcourse the night outs tagged as complimentary gifts! We plan for the next day depending on his class timings and my office hours and at the max decide where we would go on the coming weekend. With each passing day our bond grows stronger and stronger. And you won't believe a silly argument of the kind ' you did not call me at night' or ' you wore a skirt today' or even better ' you are so mean you did not remind me of going to the tailor today!' Have huge impacts on our lives! Probably because we hardly fight like others out there, who have some real serious issues or we would call it 'real life drama!' I love his every little gesture, right from when he pushes his hair towards the back from his forhead to the time when he hugs me in a way that he would never let go of me.
And here I am, and I actually am. No more the same but any day better. They say, “Love knows no boundaries, no distance and no fear.” How I wish I could explain what he means to me. I so wish I could be half as loving as him. There are times when I actually doubt my happpiness coz he is someone who makes me happy by just being there for me each time I need someone to hold on to. If I would say I love him, it would certainly be an understatement. I would say "I adore him!"
P.S.: No matter how many times I’m hurt because of you, I still won't leave you, because even if I have a hundred reasons to leave you, I'll still look for that one reason to fight for you.
