30^th August, 2010. Ma expired. Since my childhood and till date the majority of my deeds have been immensely influenced by her. Right from brushing my teeth twice a day to putting Vaseline at night before sleeping, all was taught by her.

I had never imagined, I would feel this hopeless. I so wanted to be with her, meet her for one last time and hug her gently. Her stories which she cut from newspapers and waited eagerly for us to listen to them, the way she tried her best to put in full expressions in the story. I will miss the way she used to explain Ambesh not to be naughty and then the way she used to get scared if he jumped around. Nana’s house would never be the same without her. In fact I don’t think I would ever enjoy myself in that place.

Each time we visited Ma-Nana, Ma would always be like eat this, you have become so weak, “Hum banu ji se bata denge”… How I wish I could gift her perfumes and creams, she was so fond of them. The amount we used to scold her for taking so long to take a bath and eating sweets on the sly.

The last time I met her she gave me money saying that she would not live till my next visit to Lucknow. Somya lied to her that she would come in August and she said “ I know you all lie, aur fir nahi aate ho”….

Life had become so fast paced that I did not even bother to take out time to call her up or even go to meet her when I was in Lucknow. She is no more…. But her memories are one of my most priced possessions…

I want god to give me ma in each life. May her soul rest in peace. I want to tell you that I love you a lot. And I miss you all the time….

I needed sunshine in my days

something to wash away the pain.......

I saw a very gentle side of him

That took my heart

and Made it sing

I wish he’d run away

And hide with me

Love hurts so much more

Than it seems

There was one thing

I didn’t show I love him

and He doesn’t know.

SOMUUUU.... :)

YOU CAN KID THE WORLD, BUT NOT YOUR SISTER.

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense counsel, your mediator, even your analyst. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child! But most of the time she’s the only one who you see and your mind says “Wish we could be kids again!”

This one is for my Confidant, my li’l sis… Somya… J

I would like to thank you for giving me the most cherished flashes of my life…

The sharing of clothes, dancing in the rain, the way you used to cry when mamma used to beat me up, those days when we returned from school and I used to spend all my money to treat you both, the way we went for coaching and begged Jai Shankar Bahia to stop the FIAT far from the class!...

Those times when we used to go mad laughing at the, “maiya is mary and jesus is ram jokes!!” the way mamma threatened us with, “ I will tell to FATHER” The way bhai used to request you to ask papa in English to allow us to go out! The way you used to make your maggi and dr was more of the soup than the noodles!!... hahaha that was so sweet… J

Those times when we both used to lie down on the back seat of the car and pretend to sleep so that we could be carried inside! The way Ambesh used to cry for us before we went back to the boarding. The times when we were pissed to hear from papa that “Betu you have just one sister and one brother in this world” and today I realize that yes indeed I have JUST one sister and I am glad I have you…

There is ample to write about and so much to say…

We have grown so big, times have changed and so have we but what bonds us together are those blissful days of our childhood which no matter what will be etched clearly in our hearts and will always be the ONLY common thing we have!

“You keep your past by having sisters. As you get older, they're the only ones who don't get bored if you talk about your memories.”